Thursday, May 19, 2011

contingency plan

as a way of dealing with the "only four tries left" anxiety, i have taken some steps to learn more about our contingency plan, which is iui/ivf with donor sperm, through a fertility clinic.

using reproductive technology to conceive is not the ideal situation for us. it's invasive, clinical, time consuming, and expensive (though nowhere near as expensive as i feared), but we don't have the dubious luxury of a penis in our relationship, or another known donor, so it's the next step.

i feel like i need to begin psychologically preparing for it, so that if our home insems don't work, i will be ready for what comes next.

my doctor gave me a referral for a fertility clinic, and i called them to talk through the process.
basically, we have to have two counselling sessions, a nurse's appointment, and a meeting with accounts before undertaking treatment. there can be a bit of a wait for those appointments, but once they happen, things pretty much go ahead. that was a relief for me because i thought there would be a long waiting list. we do get some choice when it comes to selecting our donor, but they don't have a lot of donors, so we basically choose from the small group that they have. we'll give them a call in a couple of months and schedule some of the necessary appointments. if we need them, they're there, if not, hoo-fucking-ray.

in the mean time, i have to book a couple of tests to make sure i'm all in working order. i am having a 'day 21 progesterone test' which is a way of making certain that ovulation is happening, and i am having an ultrasound to make sure that all my babymaking apparatus is structurally sound. my doctor warned me that this involves a fair bit of... internal probing... which i am kind of dreading. i may need some hand-holding through that one. ick.

i'm also attempting to get into a more regular exercise routine, and improving my eating habits. i figure the better condition this body is in, the more hospitable it will be for passengers... *shrug* - it can't hurt, right?


  1. If you need any hand holding on a weekend I am happy to help out, having worked at a fert clinic for umpteen years I am used to waiting rooms!

    but I think one of the next 4 will work!

    have you considered using your 'known donor' sperm for an iui run? might be worth a try?

  2. @katie
    thanks honey - it's good to feel supported :)

    there is a bit of a process if you're using a known donor. he has to attend a series of counselling sessions and undergo a bunch of tests (which our donor has already had but would need to take again), and there isn't enough time for him to do all the required things before he has to go away overseas. plus, i don't think i would feel confortable asking him to go through all that for us. it wasn't part of our agreement, and he's doing so much for us already, i couldn't ask him to go through more.

    so unless another donor becomes available, we're going with the unknown donor.

  3. One day I may have to pick your knowledge brains about all this... I hope that i do find someone to make a baby with (one way or another!) but knowing you (and Katie!) know so much about this means it's less scary to think that just because i'm useless at romantic relationships doesn't mean i can't make a family for myself :)